Chachacha! Charmin!
by Kitten Kisses
Summary: Kagome brings the wonderful object that we all [hopefully] use back the the Warring States era! How will everyone react to the foreign object known as... toilet paper?


Cha-Cha-cha! Charmin!  
  
Heh, heh, this is a fic about Charmin. Those wonderful utensils that we all love, know, and, *hopefully* use!!! Gotta love the toilet paper!!! Anyways, basically, Kagome introduces CHARMIN toilet paper to her Feudal friends.  
  
Why Charmin? I dunno, it's cool!!! And they have a commercial that has a song. "Cha-cha-cha, CHARMIN!"  
  
So yeah, anyways, please enjoy this little short one-shot!!!!  
  
Disclaimer: Uh, no. I wish though!!!!!!!!!!! **grins stupidly**  
  
Dedication: To one of my best friends. Kikyo!!!! Not the dead one, let me tell you. ^^ Anyways, thanks for giving me the idea to write this!!!! ^0^  
  
~-~-~-+-~-~-~  
  
The group of six was walking down the road out of the village. Kagome had returned after three days, and they were off to collect more shards of the Shikon no Tama. Kagome was humming a very annoying melody.  
  
"What the HECK are you singing woman?!" Inuyasha yelled, turning around to glare at the young woman.  
  
A song that was on TV. My brother watches this show and-"  
  
"Who cares?" Inuyasha frowned. "Just stop singing it."  
  
"No!" she pouted. "........Nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah, BATMAN!"  
  
"Please, Lady Kagome, can you please not sing such a song."  
  
"What's a batman?" Shippo asked.  
  
"Uh, it's a person. He's a fake superhero guy."  
  
"You tryin' to say something about me?" Inuyasha asked.  
  
"Of course not!" Kagome shrugged. "Anyway, Sota watches it every Saturday. It's really boring. But the theme just gets stuck in your head!"  
  
"Well, sing something else," Inuyasha suggested, and continued to move forward.  
  
"Cha-cha-cha! Char-min!" she shook her hips and laughed. "How's that Inuyasha? Do you like that one?"  
  
"What's a Charmin?" Shippo asked.  
  
"A brand of toilet paper," she answered, continuing to sing it.  
  
"Cha-cha! Charmin!" Shippo jumped down and started to do it too.  
  
"What's toilet paper?" Sango asked.  
  
"Yeah, what is it?" Miroku persisted.  
  
"Probably some stupid futuristic thing," Inuyasha muttered.  
  
"OH! You never heard of TOILET PAPER?!?!?" Kagome's eyes went huge. These poor people. How did they LIVE? She stopped and reached into her bag, pulling out a roll of toilet paper.  
  
"This, my friend's, is toilet paper!"  
  
"So soft!" Miroku smiled, patting it. "Just like Sango's rear!"  
  
Hiraikotsu met Miroku's head.  
  
"What's it used for?" Shippo asked her.  
  
"Well, you use it to clean up after you go to the bathroom."  
  
"How's that gonna clean your hands?" Inuyasha pointed.  
  
"It doesn't. You clean off your-"  
  
"Ew!" Miroku screeched. "AND I TOUCHED IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"It's clean Miroku, I didn't use it yet."  
  
"I don't get it!" Inuyasha shook his head in confusion.  
  
"You use it to wipe your BUTT!" Miroku yelled.  
  
"Oh my!" Sango's face reddened.  
  
"Come on guys, it's not like you reuse it or anything!" Kagome protested to their strange looks.  
  
"What's wrong with leaves?" Inuyasha asked.  
  
Kagome stared at him for a good five minutes. "What if you accidentally used poison ivy!!! Your butt would itch for weeks!!!"  
  
"That's why we don't use poison ivy, Lady Kagome," Miroku said. "Hey Sango, if your butt ever itches, don't be shy! I'll scratch it for you!!!"  
  
Hiraikotsu met his head again.  
  
"Leaves aren't sanitary!" Kagome argued. "What if someone, like-"  
  
"Took a dump on them!!!!!" Shippo yelled. "Then you'd be using a leaf that was on someone else's........"  
  
Kagome shushed him.  
  
"That's what trees are for!" Sango put in.  
  
"But there could be bird crap on them!"  
  
"Not if they look clean!!" Sango said.  
  
"But it might have been on there before. Maybe it just washed off," Inuyasha shrugged. "It's not like it matters. Nobody's gonna be sticking there hand up there anyway!"  
  
Kagome's face reddened. "But there's no way leaves can work!! I mean, does it get all of it??? And what about worms crawling out your underwear??"  
  
"Uh," Miroku pulled open his robes, turned around, and looked down his old- fashioned underwear. "Nope, no worms!" he announced.  
  
"Does it what?" Inuyasha asked.  
  
"GET ALL OF THE SHIT OFF YOUR ASS!" Miroku yelled.  
  
Sango punched him this time.  
  
"I think so, why? Not that I ever turned around to look."  
  
"Do you turn around and look?" Miroku asked Sango.  
  
Hiraikotsu on Miroku's head was becoming a minutely thing.  
  
"Anyway, toilet paper is more sanitary!"  
  
"But leaves are more commonly used!"  
  
"But they're not SANITARY!"  
  
"What's sanitary?" Shippo asked.  
  
"It means safe to use, clean."  
  
"Oh. I LIKE LEAVES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"What the?!?!"  
  
"See, I'm right?" Inuyasha smirked.  
  
"Sango, Miroku!! What do you two think????"  
  
"LEAVES!" they both yelled, not remembering what the question was.  
  
"NO FAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Kagome whined. "Everyone's against me anymore!!!!"  
  
"Oh well, I win!" Inuyasha smirked and dragged Kagome and Shippo along.  
  
"Meow?" Kirara asked.  
  
"ONE PERSON AGREES WITH ME!" Kagome yelled.  
  
"LA!" Miroku skipped after his friends, Sango and Kirara behind him.  
  
Kagome sighed and threw the toilet paper roll into the forest. "Whatever," she said.  
  
~-~-~-+-~-~-~ (you thought that was the end, didn't you??? ADMIT IT!!!!)  
  
Naraku was wandering through a beautiful woods when he came upon something strange and white on the ground.  
  
"Interesting," he mused, picking it up. "So soft. Neat! I shall use it as a wall decoration!!!!!"  
  
~-~-~-+-~-~-~ (bet you thought that was the end too!! BZZZZTTTT! WRONG!)  
  
Naraku finished tacking the beautiful white banner about his outhouse. He'd taken ink and written the title of every room in his castle. Then he's tacked them all over the doors. He'd never get lost again!!!!!  
  
It was really quite interesting. The soft banner blew in the breeze gently. He went inside the outhouse. Man, he had to GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
After he was done, he looked around for some leaves.  
  
Man, his stash was OUT!!!  
  
'Well,' he decided. 'That soft banner has more than one use anyway!!!'  
  
He reached open the door and pulled the banner down. Hopefully, the ink wasn't still wet. And if it was, he hoped it didn't sting.  
  
~-~-~-+-~-~-~  
  
*snort* So, did you guys like the ending????? I HAD to put Naraku in there!!!! ^-~ Couldn't resist!!!!! ^-^  
  
Well, yet ANOTHER one-shot done by me!!!! ^-^ Boy, these things are GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!! ^-~ I hope I get more idea's soon!!!! ^-~  
  
If you liked this, look out for my story Health Crisis. It's a humor/romance!!!! ^-~ Uh, Inuyasha wants to know why Kagome keeps blushing while she does her HEALTH home work. I'll give you one hint. SEX-ED questions!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
This was mostly humor, with everything, but WHATEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


End file.
